online dating letter #42

I knew she lived too far away to make it work, but it’s the Internet.


Being afraid of heights is a good thing. I’m afraid of them too. To deal with this I strapped myself to a German man and ran off a cliff. I expected gravity to take over but a hang glider really hangs.

If you like cookies and Apple you’ll really like the chocolate chip cookies at their cafeteria. I think the imac was overrated compared to those cookies.


She replied.

Now I can’t stop thinking about cookies. I’d make some but I have to go riding. Maybe afterwards.

She has a horse. Who doesn’t?

Make cookies and get a handful of carrier pigeons. Attach cookies to pigeons. Send them to NYC.

How do horses balance their massive frames on such skinny ankles?

She replied again. Nice.

If I had some cookies I would surely send them your way. It would be my thank you for making me laugh on a day I spent pumping out my basement. 🙂

I always wonder how horses keep their tiny little legs from breaking like twigs. They manage it though thankfully or my vet bills would be much higher.

It has rained a lot recently. Or “pumping out my basement” is a reference to a weight loss program.

Did you know that basements were first created as prank in 645 BC? A couple of ancient Greeks thought it would be a hoot (people hooted much more then) to dig a hole under their friend Ronnie’s house. It rained, the basement flooded, hilarity ensued and Ronnie moved to Persia. Oddly enough after moving to Persia Ronnie invented the cookie.

Hope your horse is a mudder. I learned that from my either my Irish grandfather who spent too much time at the track or from some movie.

Don’t know why, but she replied again. Fer realz yo.

Strangely enough, my horse comes from a line of mudders.

I replied.

It would have been odd if you said your horse came from a line of cats.

She deleted her account.

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