online dating letter #31

She spends a lot of time thinking about becoming a vegetarian and her favorite book is the OED.


Don’t do it. Don’t become one of those people, a vegetarian. They are an unruly, self-righteous lot. I know. I tried the vegetarian thing once. It lasted ten years. The crackling, greasy pop of bacon broke me free of the low energy, organic, vegetarian, everything fed with dolphin tears lifestyle. My papery, fat free reflection didn’t help either.

I love the OED. What’s your favorite part? I like the funny symbols they use next to words.


She didn’t respond. Perhaps she was busy curling up with the letter J from the Encyclopaedia Britannica. 

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