online dating letter #29

She was looking for a bad ass/gentleman. Her main selling point was that she could choose the best oranges with her eyes closed.

Hi,

I have a degree in badassery. It’s truly amazing what the American educational system will let you get away with these days. So yes I am a badass and a scholar. With the right motivation and a comfortable ambient humidity I can play the role of a gentleman.

How do you choose the oranges? By feel? Smell? Divine intervention?

She responded.

You seem to focus intently on temperature and climate. That’s interesting.

Choosing oranges is all nature based. My friend told me that I pick the best oranges, but they could have been lying to me. Maybe it’s false advertising. What kind of oranges do you like?

I never replied.

About Author: anthony

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