online dating intro letter #8

She hates beets.


I despise beets. Have beets become some new trend? Everyone I know is talking about their love of beets. Mind you this topic doesn’t come up often but when it does it feels like being asked to join a cult. The beet lover’s eyes glaze over and their voice takes on some pseudo end times timbre. I could be overreacting but no… beet lovers should be beaten with beets.

Maybe that was an overreaction. What I’m trying to say is thank you for admitting your dislike of that insidious red tuber. No peace and no justice for the beet.

Donuts are the kings and queens of the food world. Have you tried those crazy $4 donuts that are made with sunshine and dolphin tears? I’m not really sure what they’re made with but they are delectable. The donut plant or donut factory or super amazing donuts is the name of the shop.

I’m hungry.


She responded. Finally someone “gets” me. Her full and exact response is below.

Congratulations. YOur the first person ive blocked.

She can barely type, grammar is an issue, but I think there was the start of something there.

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