The Mystery Math Explained, Part 1

Lots of lonely people with above average math skills have been “gaming” the online dating system as of late. The first one I saw was the story of the kid that created his own algorithm to further refine the results of OK Cupid’s dubious algorithm. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that poor kid is headed towards a world of hurt.

The Mystery Math Explained, Part 1

The mystery math that defnes us from credit reports to match compatibility fascinates me. It fascinates me the same way a moth keeps fying into a light bulb. To help make sense of online dating math I recruited a whole cast of imaginary math wizards. These math-ies are locked away in a subterranean lab where I send them on missions in order to explain the unexplainable.

OK Cupid, like the majority of dating websites, uses highly sophisticated algorithms in order to help narrow down your choices and fnd your ideal partner. Why we’ve reached a state in our evolution where a black box algorithm is considered more accurate than our own instinct we’ll be left up to our future Artifcial Intelligent robotic overlords to ponder.

The percentages, that are prominently displayed above every profle, are based on the answers to online quizzes and complex mathematically theorem called Planck’s Nonsense.

Planck’s Nonsense is best expressed as series of gurgles and slurps caused by feeding a baby a mixture of mushed peas and pureed beets. Those gurgles and slurps can then be translated into a string of one’s and zero’s and two’s and four’s and do you have any seven’s? No? Go fsh.

Put simply, if you like the music of the band Cake and a potential suitor also likes said music your match percentage is higher than a suitor that does not like that music but loves the food product called cake. If you like cake, the band and the food, and a suitor prefers vegan cookies and LadyGaga then the math increases your enemy percentage.

Make sense? All of it is nonsense. If your potential suitor is attractive enough who cares about their taste in food or music?

About Author: anthony

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