I’ve had my share of dates where women will complain that only gay men are available to date. “There’s no straight men left.” And more than once I’ve taken this as a verbal clue to prove them wrong. Thank you gay men for being in such supply that a large number of straight women think any straight man, including myself, will do. I wear my Rawhide t-shirt with pride. Just not in public. I have very delicate features.

On this, my third go round in the world of online dating, I’ve transitioned out of women that complain about the lack of straight men to women that tell me they might be a lesbian. This has not been a defense mechanism to stop an unwanted physical advance, I think too many men would see that as a challenge, but as a confession. Here is a breakdown of how this has happened.

• The first time my date arrived late, drunk and reeking of garlic. After hello she wanted to talk about her childhood gender identity issues. We made out. I already wrote that I’m delicate, like a girl.
• The second time I thought the date was going well. She arrived sober, playful and interesting. Then she told me about how her mother and aunt asked if she were a lesbian, how her college roommate, a married lesbian, asked if she were a lesbian. I asked her if she was lesbian. She took time to think about this before answering no. I look forward to our divorce due to irreconcilable differences.
• The third time the woman asked me if I’d fuck a man. OK. She probably wasn’t a lesbian but she wasn’t convinced about my sexuality. Probably because I’m delicate. Delicate looking. I’ll cut a motherfucker.

There you have it. With a data point of two I can only conclude that due to my delicate features I am the gateway drug for potential lesbians. Lucky me.