Before I was ready to quit online dating the second time around, still waiting to quit the third time, I scheduled one last date. She had the look I liked, a career, and she agreed to meet for drinks. We met at a hipster type bar on a Tuesday. Popcorn, bad beer on tap, a poster of Einstein sticking out his tongue accompanied by some trebly songs from an iPod.

Unlike other dates her photos did not lie. She looked exactly like her photos. She might have been wearing the same clothes as her photos.

We grabbed two stools at the bar and got into the date. There were no awkward pauses. We both listened, laughed and added to the conversation when we should. This was not going to be a wham, bam, scram date. I liked her and I think she would have agreed to go on a second date if only we had ended the date 10 minutes sooner.

We finished our second round of beers, and my potential future girlfriend said, “I have to wake up early tomorrow. I’m starting a new career. I’m becoming a life coach.”

That’s when I lost control of my face. You’re becoming a life coach? Whose life are you coaching? We met on an online dating site, a free online dating site. How broken is this person that you qualify as their life coach? I didn’t verbalize any of these things, but my face said it all. Damn you face.

She tried to stammer a reply and I tried to say that her life coaching career sounded great. There was no second date. Maybe I could hire her as my life coach.