This happened

The Internet is global. Did you know that? It’s even available across the entire United States. Including Texas. I only send online dating intro letters to women in the local area. Why would I harass someone in Helsinki? I wouldn’t. But some woman in Texas decided to harass me.

The messages she sent are in purple and my replies are in a sort of burnt orange.

6:51am: I want your air conditioning. And your soul.

Bold. Interesting. And she lives in Texas. I had to respond.

11:13am: Well you’re shit out of luck because I don’t have a soul and I lied about the air conditioning. The air conditioning is just a ploy to convince unsuspecting girls that I’m not a loser. Take that.

One of our online dating profiles mentions that you shouldn’t contact us if you only want us for our air conditioning.

1:05pm: Will you just blow on me then?

I know the slogan, “Don’t mess with Texas” was part of an anti-litter campaign, but I still shouldn’t mess with them.

3:38pm: phhhhhtttttttt
3:42pm: That’s refreshing. Thanks.

I never heard from her again. Probably for the best, but part of me will always wonder about what could have been.

About Author: anthony

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