I got a response. And I blew it.

She mentioned how she wanted to be contacted by someone that could fold a fitted sheet.


I can fold a fitted sheet, but the folds are exceptionally tiny, random and require a suspension of disbelief. On the bright side I believe that The Time Bandits is a truly glorious, sticky movie that warped my childhood. Also responsible for many nights of me trying to push my bedroom walls.

Lastly, I think emo is a secret communist plot spread through fluoridation. Your thoughts?


I got a response. A response that clearly showed she had a sense of humor. I’ll leave her’s out and just get to my follow up.

I should point out that she mentioned she lacked a sense of smell and complained about guys talking about their feelings.

I had a feeling once. Turns out it was gas.

Let’s get a drink and compare who’s friends are more weird and how normal we are.
And since you have no sense of smell you won’t notice if I have a feeling again.

That was crude. But vaguely charming? Amusing? Much more entertaining in person as opposed to trying to convey humor/sarcasm/wit/feelings (dammit) via the Internet.


I didn’t get a second response.

About Author: anthony

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