This following is an introduction letter I sent to a woman on a popular dating site. She mentioned in her profile that she did not want to be contacted by anyone on the National Registry of Sex Offenders.

Hi,

Maybe one day I can make the National Registry. For now I’ll just settle for the amateur leagues.

I’m kidding.

Of course I’m on the National list.

Another joke.

Jokes and email don’t work.

But I promise I’m not a sex offender.

Now as to whether or not your Brita filter is poisoning you… when you use said filter what type of footwear are you wearing? If you read the fine print you’ll see that the folks at Brita strongly suggest a rubber soled shoe. Everyone over looks this. Unless you are burning the plastic and huffing the fumes you should be OK. But NYC tap water is clean and doesn’t need to be filtered. Again. I used to live in DC. That water had lead in it and now I can smell colors.

Was this a test?

Cheers,
Anthony

I never got a response.