online dating letter #52

She had a bunch of questions that needed answering. My favorites were whether or not you cry after sex and who is the better front man for Van-Halen.


I cry during sex. “We’re sinning. Help! Ow!”. Afterwards I write a letter that always begins the same. Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me…

I agree 100% with your pre-hire screening process. My questions would be:
– Did you move to NYC because “Sex and the City” made it look really fun?
– Can you explain to me what “grooming product” is?
– Did you move to NYC because “Dog Day Afternoon” made it look really fun?
– Is there something in my teeth?
– Do you sleep with a knife under your pillow?

Here are my answers to your questions:
No, no (that never happened), no, no, no, what?, yes, that is a BS question. Either you know the right answer or you might as well listen to NSync.

This was fun.


I’m serious about the “Sex and the City” thing. I used to joke about this but the more and more women I date the more I see this as being true. 

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