{"id":269,"date":"2011-08-17T06:31:59","date_gmt":"2011-08-17T11:31:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.aguidetoselfsabotage.com\/?p=269"},"modified":"2011-08-16T10:49:23","modified_gmt":"2011-08-16T15:49:23","slug":"this-happened","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aguidetoselfsabotage.com\/2011\/08\/17\/this-happened\/","title":{"rendered":"This happened"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Internet is global. Did you know that? It’s even available across the entire United States. Including Texas. I only send online dating intro letters to women in the local area. Why would I harass someone in Helsinki? I wouldn’t. But some woman in Texas decided to harass me.<\/em><\/p>\n

The messages she sent are in purple and my replies are in a sort of burnt orange.<\/em><\/p>\n

6:51am:\u00a0I want your air conditioning. And your soul.<\/span><\/div>\n

Bold. Interesting. And she lives in Texas. I had to respond.<\/p>\n

11:13am:\u00a0Well you’re shit out of luck because I don’t have a soul and I lied about the air conditioning. The air conditioning is just a ploy to convince unsuspecting girls that I’m not a loser. Take that.<\/span><\/div>\n

One of our online dating profiles mentions that you shouldn’t contact us if you only want us for our air conditioning.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

1:05pm:\u00a0<\/span>Will you just blow on me then?<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

I know the slogan, “Don’t mess with Texas” was part of an anti-litter campaign, but I still shouldn’t mess with them.<\/p>\n

3:38pm:\u00a0phhhhhtttttttt<\/span><\/div>\n
3:42pm:\u00a0That’s refreshing. Thanks.<\/span><\/div>\n

I never heard from her again. Probably for the best, but part of me will always wonder about what could have been.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Internet is global. Did you know that? It’s even available across the entire United States. Including Texas. I only send online dating intro letters to women in the local area. Why would I harass someone in Helsinki? I wouldn’t. But some woman in Texas decided to harass me. The messages she sent are in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nThis happened - OKStupid<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.aguidetoselfsabotage.com\/2011\/08\/17\/this-happened\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"This happened - OKStupid\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Internet is global. Did you know that? It’s even available across the entire United States. Including Texas. I only send online dating intro letters to women in the local area. Why would I harass someone in Helsinki? I wouldn’t. 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